As this internship is drawing down to a close :sniff sniff:, I'm starting to look everything over and see what I've learned and experienced in this 3 month "working vacation". As I just said, I have been here 3 months, and now I can say that I've had the experience of one of the "90 day regiments" so common at the beginning of the war.
I have experienced life in the 1860's to about 70% of what it really was like, the other 30% being taken away by being able to go home to an air conditioned apartment, not having to use a chamber pot, and also not having worms in my food or bacteria in my water. Oh, and not being shot at. That helps too.
I have done interpretation as a Provost Guard (a military police officer), a dry goods store clerk, a Union artillerist, and many other things. I have experienced many things here, some good and some not so good, but an experience nonetheless. I've learned to live and breathe as a citizen of the United States would in the 19th century, and I'm eager to continue that into my reenacting career as portraying a soldier in the 4th US Infantry. I'm eager to reenact while thinking like a soldier in the 19th century would, wearing exactly what he'd wear, and doing exactly what he did. Sorry to burst the bubble of my reenacting friends, but we could do better.
On my days off, I have been able to go to other battlefields like Gettysburg, Antietam, Fredericksburg, Bolivar Heights, and Chancellorsville. I've been to places that have names like "bloody lane", "the wheatfield", and "the slaughterpen". After visiting these places, I make a habit of visiting the cemeteries, where "these honored dead" are lain to rest. My most recent visit, to Fredericksburg National Cemetery, there are roughly 15 thousand soldiers buried there, but only 2,500 have a name to go on the headstone.
Over the entire course of the war, 625,000 young men, many of whom are younger than I, perished. 2 out of 3 of them died of disease instead of enemy fire. I've walked in places that were once turned red, where the pride of America's youth were swept off the face of the earth. Another experience I've had is being trained and certified in the use of period firearms, such as flint and percussion lock rifles and muskets, as well as the 3 inch ordinance rifle, the most common artillery piece in the entire war.
Knowing how to use these weapons, and knowing what they inflicted on human beings, I have a greater respect for the men who fought the war (and all wars), and a increased disenchantment with weapons and the "glory of war". One of the things we interpret while on artillery weekends is the different type of "shot" or ammunition used by the artillery, including cannister. When we are talking about cannister (effectively a giant shotgun shell, with 40 iron balls the size of shooting marbles), the story we tell is from a Confederate artillery officer, who ordered double cannister to be loaded into his guns to stop a charging line of Union infantry. "I ordered my guns to load 'double cannister', and fired en masse into the enemy. By the time the smoke in front of my guns had cleared, there was nothing to be seen except a pinkish cloud of mist. There were no bodies or pieces of bodies, only a queer mist that we realized was all that remained of our foe."
Dear God.
625,000 lives.
625,000 chairs that would be empty at Thanksgiving time.
625,000 white headstones that would line peaceful green lawns that have names like Gettysburg, Antietam, Arlington, Shiloh, and Petersburg.
625,000 young men who would never love the people they should have loved, fathered the children they should have loved, lived the life they should have lived.
When I go home to Oregon in just a couple weeks, I will be going home with a greater realization of the cost of the Civil War, and really every war. I will go home with a huge respect for veterans that I've never had before on this scale. I will go home and be rededicated to preserving this memory in whatever way I can, and properly honoring the dead, and their living comrades. I want to dedicate my study of history to the memory of men who have been through hell and back for many people they've never even met. For me. These men are more worthy of the title of being a man than I am, and I am dedicated to honoring them.
I'll close with the words of a man that I admire and respect:
"But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
Monday, July 30, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
150 years ago today
Having about 47 minutes left of July 27th, I figured I'd post about the sesquecentennial that most people don't really know about.
Today is the day that President Abraham Lincoln shared his thoughts and plans for the emancipation proclamation with his cabinet. It will not be issued until after the battle of Antietam in september of 1862, because without a military victory and force of arms, all the proclamation will be is empty words with no worth whatsoever.
This will change policy for the United States, both politically and militarily, and will change the entire course of the war. Not only is this a shrewd move politically, it will change the social, emotional, and spiritual landscape of the war.
Politically, this will alienate some of the war democrats who, at this stage in the game, do not have the abolition of slavery on their priority list, and the same goes for some factions of the republican party as well. Furthermore, it will effectively deny the British any reason whatsoever for entering the war on the side of the Confederacy, and therefore disable the French war effort, due to their preference to not go to war in America without British cooperation.
Socially, this will split the population of the United States. People in the New England area, extending into Pennsylvania will applaud this measure, while folks from New York and the mid-west will look upon it with anything from suspicion to anger, especially in the newer immigrant populations such as the Irish, who believe that the new work force of emancipated African Americans will take away their low paying jobs and wages.
Emotionally and spiritually, the proclamation will swing the mood, based off of the social aspect. Gruadually, people will once again be behind the war effort to subdue the south and free four million people. Northerners will view themselves as God's chosen people to "proclaim liberty throughout the land", and "bring the people out of Egypt". Southerners will have pretty much the opposite point of view, in that they see Lincoln as Pharoe, and themselves as Israelites making their own promised land (for white people only, of course).
This proclamation will also change the duties of the soldier in the United States Army.
His duties will change from being a reuniter to being a liberator.
From being a soldier who is trying to reunite a torn nation and leaving 4 million people in captivity, he will become a soldier whose job it is to shatter 4 million sets of chains, to eliminate 4 million scars of the lash.
This is a huge turning point in the war, and one everyone can be thankful for.
Any way, figured I'd post a little something on here for it.
Today is the day that President Abraham Lincoln shared his thoughts and plans for the emancipation proclamation with his cabinet. It will not be issued until after the battle of Antietam in september of 1862, because without a military victory and force of arms, all the proclamation will be is empty words with no worth whatsoever.
This will change policy for the United States, both politically and militarily, and will change the entire course of the war. Not only is this a shrewd move politically, it will change the social, emotional, and spiritual landscape of the war.
Politically, this will alienate some of the war democrats who, at this stage in the game, do not have the abolition of slavery on their priority list, and the same goes for some factions of the republican party as well. Furthermore, it will effectively deny the British any reason whatsoever for entering the war on the side of the Confederacy, and therefore disable the French war effort, due to their preference to not go to war in America without British cooperation.
Socially, this will split the population of the United States. People in the New England area, extending into Pennsylvania will applaud this measure, while folks from New York and the mid-west will look upon it with anything from suspicion to anger, especially in the newer immigrant populations such as the Irish, who believe that the new work force of emancipated African Americans will take away their low paying jobs and wages.
Emotionally and spiritually, the proclamation will swing the mood, based off of the social aspect. Gruadually, people will once again be behind the war effort to subdue the south and free four million people. Northerners will view themselves as God's chosen people to "proclaim liberty throughout the land", and "bring the people out of Egypt". Southerners will have pretty much the opposite point of view, in that they see Lincoln as Pharoe, and themselves as Israelites making their own promised land (for white people only, of course).
This proclamation will also change the duties of the soldier in the United States Army.
His duties will change from being a reuniter to being a liberator.
From being a soldier who is trying to reunite a torn nation and leaving 4 million people in captivity, he will become a soldier whose job it is to shatter 4 million sets of chains, to eliminate 4 million scars of the lash.
This is a huge turning point in the war, and one everyone can be thankful for.
Any way, figured I'd post a little something on here for it.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
One of the better speeches in the movies..
This is one of the better ones from the movies, and it pretty much speaks for itself.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
new thoughts on reenacting.
having been a reenactor for 9 years before this internship, I have striven to be as accurate as possible, in how I live, what gear I use, ect, ect.
I have learned a whole ton while I've been here, and I continue to learn.
This learning is what is making me excited to go home and share so much about what I've learned.
Some of the big things I've learned here include:
Social aspects to the Union soldier.
Forms of dress for soldiers and civilians during the time.
How to properly perform the duties of a Provost Guard.
How to perform all the duties involved in a cannon crew.
What it feels like to march in a West Virginia summer while
wearing full equipment.
What a bivouak on an original Battlefield feels like.
What the real soldiers had to put up with in the terrain.
These are just a few, and I'll try and talk about some of these things here in this post..
Social aspects to the Union soldier:
This was interesting, as many people might think that all Union soldiers were driven by some passion for ending slavery and such. Well... thats not always the case. To be sure, there were certainly abolitionist soldiers in the ranks, but many had other reasons for putting on the blue suit, ranging from wanting the extra $13 per month, to thinking that they'd win honor, glory, women, and riches by joining, or simply because they were bored at home. Its interesting to think about all these differences, and I'll probably do another post about the character of these men later on, but for now, this will suffice.
Forms of dress for soldiers and civilian men (I'm not even going near women's fashions):
Now, at reenactments, you'll see men taking off coats and vests when it gets too hot, rolling up their sleeves, and unbuttoning the top of their shirts. You'll see them go about without hats and such, and if they do have a hat, they almost never acknowledge women as they pass with the required tipping of the hat. Now, in the mid 19th century, if you're doing this, you are generally considered not only an arrogant (refrains from further comment), but also a very scandalous and risque sort of person for doing such things as going about without at least a vest, and especially rolling up your sleeves or unbuttoning your shirt. To be sure, if you are in the army, with (hopefully) no women about and you're hauling a cannon up that hill, its only natural to strip down to help in your effort to keep cool while hauling 500+ pounds up that long slope.
The reason for this is two fold: first, living in the 19th century, you are concerned for your health, which explains wearing 4 layers. More on that in a second. Secondly, if there is any skin showing on you at all, it should only be your face and your hands, if you are a fashionable gentleman. If you are one of the Richmond or Boston elite, you wear gloves over your hands as well, and never dream of going outside without them. Any skin other than your face and hands showing should be reserved for interaction with the opposite sex, only in a marital nature.
Okay, if you're wearing 4 layers, why in heavens name does that mean you're concerned for your health?? Well, the simple fact is, germs don't exist in the 19th century. Whats a germ? No such thing, silly, thats an old wive's tale! Whats making me sick is bad air of course! Bad air from swamps, cold air, and such things. Well, what am I going to do to protect myself? I am going to start layering up, so that the air can't touch my skin and it will have a harder time making me sick. I'll start by wearing :cough: long johns, then have my shirt over that. Those will be followed up by my wool trousers and my best, with the shirt being secured by a tie, and topped off by the hat and jacket. There! Now I'm safe, and I shouldn't get sick! ......right?
I'm going to skip over a few that I've kinda already talked about.
What marching in a West Virginia summer feels like wearing full gear.
I'll tell ya, this is a lot different than marching around in an Oregon summer.
First off, its flipping HOT out here.
The average temperature here has been around 93, including several days where we wearing the above mentioned layers in 100+ degrees temperature. Wheras in Oregon, the average temperature is roughly, MAYBE, 70 degrees out. So for those of you who I have heared complaining how hot reenacting has been lately, I respectfully tell you to be quiet. :P
Also, aside from the 4 layers you are wearing, you are carrying an 11 pound musket, at least 15 pounds of leather gear (bayonet, canteen, ammo, ect), and if you're hard core, you're carrying a 40 pound backpack. So effectively you are marching around in hobnailed brogans, carrying roughly 60 extra pounds of weight, and if you are a true soldier, you're doing 20 miles a day, at least.
"Colonel darlin', if you please, would you ride the horse that the good Lord provided instead of marching around in the hot damn dirty dust!?"~Buster Kilrain "Gettysburg"
The last subject I'll cover for this post is
What a bivouak on an original battlefield feels like:
Several weeks ago, I had the great honor and privilage to camp on the Bolivar heights battlefield for artillery weekend, which is exactly what I will be doing come Friday night.
We laid out under the stars, tending a fire throughout the night, and slept not 20 feet from the original Union intrenchments on top of the heights. Looking up at the stars without any city lights nearby, and only a slight rumble of traffic on nearby highway 340, I feel I had a fairly similar experience to both Union and Confederate soldiers alike.
I felt strangely close, like at any moment some soldiers might walk out of the woods and ask to share the fire. Or that I might hear a distant gunshot from the picket line.
At dawn I was up, and I was lucky enough to watch the sunrise come up, with the sky going from dark to light blue, then turning to a faint pink shade which turned into a beautiful bright red.
This is a unique experience to here on the east coast, simply because we don't have large battlefields in Oregon, and the closest things we have are the old forts like Fort Yamhill and Fort Hoskins, which thankfully, I will be able to do living history at when I return. It is a very cool experience, and one that I am looking forward to having again starting Friday night. :)
I have learned a whole ton while I've been here, and I continue to learn.
This learning is what is making me excited to go home and share so much about what I've learned.
Some of the big things I've learned here include:
Social aspects to the Union soldier.
Forms of dress for soldiers and civilians during the time.
How to properly perform the duties of a Provost Guard.
How to perform all the duties involved in a cannon crew.
What it feels like to march in a West Virginia summer while
wearing full equipment.
What a bivouak on an original Battlefield feels like.
What the real soldiers had to put up with in the terrain.
These are just a few, and I'll try and talk about some of these things here in this post..
Social aspects to the Union soldier:
This was interesting, as many people might think that all Union soldiers were driven by some passion for ending slavery and such. Well... thats not always the case. To be sure, there were certainly abolitionist soldiers in the ranks, but many had other reasons for putting on the blue suit, ranging from wanting the extra $13 per month, to thinking that they'd win honor, glory, women, and riches by joining, or simply because they were bored at home. Its interesting to think about all these differences, and I'll probably do another post about the character of these men later on, but for now, this will suffice.
Forms of dress for soldiers and civilian men (I'm not even going near women's fashions):
Now, at reenactments, you'll see men taking off coats and vests when it gets too hot, rolling up their sleeves, and unbuttoning the top of their shirts. You'll see them go about without hats and such, and if they do have a hat, they almost never acknowledge women as they pass with the required tipping of the hat. Now, in the mid 19th century, if you're doing this, you are generally considered not only an arrogant (refrains from further comment), but also a very scandalous and risque sort of person for doing such things as going about without at least a vest, and especially rolling up your sleeves or unbuttoning your shirt. To be sure, if you are in the army, with (hopefully) no women about and you're hauling a cannon up that hill, its only natural to strip down to help in your effort to keep cool while hauling 500+ pounds up that long slope.
The reason for this is two fold: first, living in the 19th century, you are concerned for your health, which explains wearing 4 layers. More on that in a second. Secondly, if there is any skin showing on you at all, it should only be your face and your hands, if you are a fashionable gentleman. If you are one of the Richmond or Boston elite, you wear gloves over your hands as well, and never dream of going outside without them. Any skin other than your face and hands showing should be reserved for interaction with the opposite sex, only in a marital nature.
Okay, if you're wearing 4 layers, why in heavens name does that mean you're concerned for your health?? Well, the simple fact is, germs don't exist in the 19th century. Whats a germ? No such thing, silly, thats an old wive's tale! Whats making me sick is bad air of course! Bad air from swamps, cold air, and such things. Well, what am I going to do to protect myself? I am going to start layering up, so that the air can't touch my skin and it will have a harder time making me sick. I'll start by wearing :cough: long johns, then have my shirt over that. Those will be followed up by my wool trousers and my best, with the shirt being secured by a tie, and topped off by the hat and jacket. There! Now I'm safe, and I shouldn't get sick! ......right?
I'm going to skip over a few that I've kinda already talked about.
What marching in a West Virginia summer feels like wearing full gear.
I'll tell ya, this is a lot different than marching around in an Oregon summer.
First off, its flipping HOT out here.
The average temperature here has been around 93, including several days where we wearing the above mentioned layers in 100+ degrees temperature. Wheras in Oregon, the average temperature is roughly, MAYBE, 70 degrees out. So for those of you who I have heared complaining how hot reenacting has been lately, I respectfully tell you to be quiet. :P
Also, aside from the 4 layers you are wearing, you are carrying an 11 pound musket, at least 15 pounds of leather gear (bayonet, canteen, ammo, ect), and if you're hard core, you're carrying a 40 pound backpack. So effectively you are marching around in hobnailed brogans, carrying roughly 60 extra pounds of weight, and if you are a true soldier, you're doing 20 miles a day, at least.
"Colonel darlin', if you please, would you ride the horse that the good Lord provided instead of marching around in the hot damn dirty dust!?"~Buster Kilrain "Gettysburg"
The last subject I'll cover for this post is
What a bivouak on an original battlefield feels like:
Several weeks ago, I had the great honor and privilage to camp on the Bolivar heights battlefield for artillery weekend, which is exactly what I will be doing come Friday night.
We laid out under the stars, tending a fire throughout the night, and slept not 20 feet from the original Union intrenchments on top of the heights. Looking up at the stars without any city lights nearby, and only a slight rumble of traffic on nearby highway 340, I feel I had a fairly similar experience to both Union and Confederate soldiers alike.
I felt strangely close, like at any moment some soldiers might walk out of the woods and ask to share the fire. Or that I might hear a distant gunshot from the picket line.
At dawn I was up, and I was lucky enough to watch the sunrise come up, with the sky going from dark to light blue, then turning to a faint pink shade which turned into a beautiful bright red.
This is a unique experience to here on the east coast, simply because we don't have large battlefields in Oregon, and the closest things we have are the old forts like Fort Yamhill and Fort Hoskins, which thankfully, I will be able to do living history at when I return. It is a very cool experience, and one that I am looking forward to having again starting Friday night. :)
Monday, July 16, 2012
thoughts from a park intern
Alrighty then, first things first: Yes, I'm still alive. The Cannon didn't explode, I didn't fall off of Maryland heights, and I wasn't chased away into the hills by a crowd that was angry at my lack of tour giving skills.
I've just been busy. And tired. Last weekend, I was able to claim the joy of wearing four layers, two of which were wool, in 100 and 115 degrees temperatures. That kinda thing really takes it out of you, I'll tell ya. I figure that at Fort Stevens (an Oregon Civil War reenactment I will be attending at the end of August) that I'll be freezing, due to it only being in the 60s or 70s. For those of you who will be there, I apologize in advance for my chattering teeth.
While being busy with exhibits, transferring 19th century equipment from place to place, guiding tours of the town, and learning to live and breathe the life and history of Harpers Ferry, my mind has also been busy, thinking about such things like the cause of the Civil War, its cost, its lasting effects.
I go to battlefields that, from Oregon and my books, are so very distant, so disconnected from anything I have previously known, that it is often hard to comprehend, and only now that I am out where it happened am I beginning to understand and figure out what really happened. After visiting the battlefields (or should I call them slaughter houses?), I visit the cemeteries, where thousands of young men, not much older than I am, are laid to rest.
After viewing such places as 'bloody lane' and 'Burnside's bridge' of Antietam, as well as the Wheatfield, Devil's Den, and Cemetery ridge of Gettysburg, where men went down like autumn leaves in a windstorm, it is gut wrenching to see all the headstones spread in beautiful rows over what once were raging battlefields but are now lovely parks where people come to understand, to lay a wreath of flowers, to honor a loved one.
I think it only natural that I (or anyone, for that matter) would ask the question "why?" Why did more than 1 million Americans decide that it would be a good idea to take up arms and slaughter each other for 4 long years, and completely destroy half of the country?
In my study of history, particularly the Civil War, I think the simple answer is ideas and beliefs.
We all have something we believe in, something that helps us make sense of everything around us. Something that we will hold to when we have to let go of everything else. Its part of the spirit and the mind that God gave us when we were created. Because he doesn't make build-a-bears, he makes people with their own minds who can (only in certain ways) determine what they want to do.
These sort of ideas are what drove the men of 1861-1865. This is what drove the Union men up Marie's heights, and into the killing zone at Cold Harbor, and the same thing that allowed the men of Virginia and North Carolina to storm the west slopes of Cemetery ridge. However, instead of dying valiantly and digging in so solidly to our beliefs that we wind up hurting and harming others, there is another way to voice and support our beliefs. Its called listening.
Now, being American and also a bit of a hot head myself, I am opinionated and I generally don't apologize for my beliefs. However, through my own personal experience, as well as seeing/hearing/reading about others' experience with differing beliefs, I've come to the realization that while I certainly am not required to accept and adhere to them, I should at least respect them.
This is something everyone can learn, especially myself. The reason being, if we don't learn to respect other's for their God given and law given right to their own opinions, whether we agree with them or not, we will become so intrenched in our own petty, arrogant ideas that we will become deaf to anything else, any other opinion, even possibly to God's own voice. This is terrifying for me. I know what it is to be blind and deaf to God, and it hurts. Since a very shaking and hurtful event in February, I have been in every way an athiest. Thankfully, with God's persistant love and attempts to get me back, I have been able to crawl back in the saddle, able to attend church in Bolivar, and have been talking to God again. I am glad to see my short stint of atheism come to an end.
So, as a word of advice, coming from a guy who has been on both sides of the equation, be willing to listen. If you don't, you will become angry, bitter, and so intrenched into your beliefs that not even those you love the most will be able to get through to you, and it'll take an act of God to help you see through the dark clouds again. You'll be left alone, with no hope of a coming dawn, without the Cavalry(or is it Calvary?) coming to the rescue.
Be willing to listen, just listen, even if you don't agree with it, because they have a right to their opinion and beliefs just as much as they do, and they deserve to be heard, ESPECIALLY if their opinions/beliefs affect you, because it will help you to understand another aspect, which helps you understand more of the whole situation, and if you really don't agree, and you still are angry and hateful towards the other person(s), it will allow you to further sharpen your own beliefs.
Any way, enough of my random rambling. This is something that's been on my mind. Anywho,
I'll be around!
I've just been busy. And tired. Last weekend, I was able to claim the joy of wearing four layers, two of which were wool, in 100 and 115 degrees temperatures. That kinda thing really takes it out of you, I'll tell ya. I figure that at Fort Stevens (an Oregon Civil War reenactment I will be attending at the end of August) that I'll be freezing, due to it only being in the 60s or 70s. For those of you who will be there, I apologize in advance for my chattering teeth.
While being busy with exhibits, transferring 19th century equipment from place to place, guiding tours of the town, and learning to live and breathe the life and history of Harpers Ferry, my mind has also been busy, thinking about such things like the cause of the Civil War, its cost, its lasting effects.
I go to battlefields that, from Oregon and my books, are so very distant, so disconnected from anything I have previously known, that it is often hard to comprehend, and only now that I am out where it happened am I beginning to understand and figure out what really happened. After visiting the battlefields (or should I call them slaughter houses?), I visit the cemeteries, where thousands of young men, not much older than I am, are laid to rest.
After viewing such places as 'bloody lane' and 'Burnside's bridge' of Antietam, as well as the Wheatfield, Devil's Den, and Cemetery ridge of Gettysburg, where men went down like autumn leaves in a windstorm, it is gut wrenching to see all the headstones spread in beautiful rows over what once were raging battlefields but are now lovely parks where people come to understand, to lay a wreath of flowers, to honor a loved one.
I think it only natural that I (or anyone, for that matter) would ask the question "why?" Why did more than 1 million Americans decide that it would be a good idea to take up arms and slaughter each other for 4 long years, and completely destroy half of the country?
In my study of history, particularly the Civil War, I think the simple answer is ideas and beliefs.
We all have something we believe in, something that helps us make sense of everything around us. Something that we will hold to when we have to let go of everything else. Its part of the spirit and the mind that God gave us when we were created. Because he doesn't make build-a-bears, he makes people with their own minds who can (only in certain ways) determine what they want to do.
These sort of ideas are what drove the men of 1861-1865. This is what drove the Union men up Marie's heights, and into the killing zone at Cold Harbor, and the same thing that allowed the men of Virginia and North Carolina to storm the west slopes of Cemetery ridge. However, instead of dying valiantly and digging in so solidly to our beliefs that we wind up hurting and harming others, there is another way to voice and support our beliefs. Its called listening.
Now, being American and also a bit of a hot head myself, I am opinionated and I generally don't apologize for my beliefs. However, through my own personal experience, as well as seeing/hearing/reading about others' experience with differing beliefs, I've come to the realization that while I certainly am not required to accept and adhere to them, I should at least respect them.
This is something everyone can learn, especially myself. The reason being, if we don't learn to respect other's for their God given and law given right to their own opinions, whether we agree with them or not, we will become so intrenched in our own petty, arrogant ideas that we will become deaf to anything else, any other opinion, even possibly to God's own voice. This is terrifying for me. I know what it is to be blind and deaf to God, and it hurts. Since a very shaking and hurtful event in February, I have been in every way an athiest. Thankfully, with God's persistant love and attempts to get me back, I have been able to crawl back in the saddle, able to attend church in Bolivar, and have been talking to God again. I am glad to see my short stint of atheism come to an end.
So, as a word of advice, coming from a guy who has been on both sides of the equation, be willing to listen. If you don't, you will become angry, bitter, and so intrenched into your beliefs that not even those you love the most will be able to get through to you, and it'll take an act of God to help you see through the dark clouds again. You'll be left alone, with no hope of a coming dawn, without the Cavalry(or is it Calvary?) coming to the rescue.
Be willing to listen, just listen, even if you don't agree with it, because they have a right to their opinion and beliefs just as much as they do, and they deserve to be heard, ESPECIALLY if their opinions/beliefs affect you, because it will help you to understand another aspect, which helps you understand more of the whole situation, and if you really don't agree, and you still are angry and hateful towards the other person(s), it will allow you to further sharpen your own beliefs.
Any way, enough of my random rambling. This is something that's been on my mind. Anywho,
I'll be around!
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